My fingers have been a battleground for as long as I can remember. Now 23, I’ve spent most of my life dealing with nail biting and dermatophagia. These are body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs)—I bit not just my nails but also the skin around my nails and other areas of my fingers. This was more than just a bad habit. It had become an automatic response to stress, boredom, focus, and anxiety that adversely impacted everyday living.
The Hidden Impact of Compulsive Nail Biting
Most people, when considering the struggles of mental health, think in terms of conditions with noticeable symptoms. BFRBs are usually hidden. My hands told the story I tried to hide: raw skin, nails bitten down to the quick, sometimes even bleeding. At work, I became an expert at concealment. I dreaded handshakes, worried about what people would see. I kept my hands under the table during meetings or clasped them together to avoid drawing attention.
The impact was similar in my personal life: when attending social events or other gatherings, I felt self-conscious whenever my hands were visible. I’d hide them during conversations, then worry that hiding them looked odd. The constant feeling of shame was exhausting.
Why Common Nail Biting Solutions Don’t Work
Like so many others with BFRBs, I tried every remedy I could find.
Bitter nail polish seemed like a straightforward first step. The principle behind it was simple: make nail biting taste bad, and you will stop. In a few days, though, I stopped noticing the taste; my brain just got used to it, and I kept biting.
Fidget toys helped somewhat when I noticed the urge to bite. Most of my nail biting happened when I wasn’t aware of it, though. The toy would just sit on my desk while my fingers went to my mouth out of habit.
Next, I tried wearing gloves, both thin and thick. Since I work at a desk and type all day, this didn’t work at all. Thin gloves made typing awkward, and thick gloves made it nearly impossible. I gave up right away.
Wrapping tape around my fingers worked somewhat better, especially during stressful periods such as exam time. But to get the tape ready was a hassle, and it looked strange in public. It wasn’t something I could keep up in the long term.
I also tried other psychological ways, which I found on the Internet: things like mental tricks and awareness exercises to change my behavior. These worked for a few weeks, but the moment stress hit, I’d bite my nails down again without even realizing it. I couldn’t stay aware all the time, especially when my focus was on something else.
The Breakthrough: Understanding Why We Bite Our Nails
The turning point was a simple observation: Sometimes, when focused on work, my parents or girlfriend would tell me to stop biting my nails. I’d realize I hadn’t even noticed I was doing it. These reminders worked well, but as somebody pointed out, they couldn’t watch me all day.
Those comments stuck with me. The best way to stop my nail biting was having someone else notice what I couldn’t see myself. But that wasn’t practical or realistic. I needed a way to get that external awareness without needing someone to watch me all the time.
That’s when something clicked in my head regarding my BFRB: it wasn’t a willpower or commitment issue. It was an automatic behavior that needed an automatic solution. The conscious attempts at fixing it wouldn’t work because the problem happened without me noticing.
Finding What Actually Stops Nail Biting
As a software developer, I wondered if technology could give me that outside awareness. I built a simple desktop app that uses my webcam to watch for nail biting or skin picking and interrupts me with a pop-up on my screen. The prototype worked right away.
While I was working on the final version, which is called Hands Off, I kept using the app. It uses AI to process the webcam feed in real time and blocks my work with a pop-up when it detects the behavior.
Even now, when I’m stressed, I use a fidget toy along with the app. The difference is that the app’s interruption makes me realize I want to bite, so I remember to use the toy. Without that reminder, I’d just forget.
How to Stop Nail Biting: 5 Practical Lessons That Work
After years of trying different things, here’s what I learned that can help you stop nail biting:
Choose a solution that fits the real problem. Most nail biting happens without you noticing, so anything that needs you to remember won’t work when you’re stressed or distracted. You need something that works on its own without you having to think about it.
Use a mix of approaches. Fidget toys on their own didn’t help because I forgot to use them. When I combined them with something that reminded me in the moment, they worked. Try combining different solutions instead of relying on just one.
Pay attention to your triggers. I bite my nails most when I’m focused on work or feeling stressed. Once I noticed these patterns, I could use solutions just for those times instead of trying to be on guard all the time.
Any physical barrier has to be practical. Gloves sound like they might be helpful, but they clearly don’t work for individuals who must use keyboards at work. Tape can be used in some situations, like exams, but it’s not something you use every day. Any barrier you try out needs to fit your real-life situation.
Having someone else point out when you’re biting your nails really works at the time, but no one can watch you all day. The real challenge is finding a way to get that same help without needing someone there at all times.
Life After Nail Biting
After dealing with this since I was a kid, my nails grew out and the skin around my fingers got better. I still use a fidget toy when I’m stressed, but now I catch myself before I do any damage instead of noticing bitten nails hours later.
If you struggle with biting your nails or any other BFRB, here is what I learned most of all: most common solutions expect you to control something you don’t even notice. The moment I stopped fighting my brain’s autopilot and found ways to interrupt it automatically was the moment I finally made progress. Your solution might be different, but knowing the problem is unconscious is a big step forward.
If you or someone you know experiences mental health issues, it is important to seek help from a qualified professional. Our Mental Health Resource Specialists can assist you in finding expert help and support in your community. Contact us now for more information on this free service.
About the Author: Lennert Soffers is a 23-year-old software developer from Belgium and the creator of Hands Off, a desktop application that helps users quit nail biting, skin picking, and other body-focused repetitive behaviors through real-time detection and intervention using your webcam.
Frequently Asked Questions About Nail Biting and BFRBs
Photo by Frederica Black : https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-shot-of-a-woman-with-green-eyes-13949577/
The opinions and views expressed in any guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of www.rtor.org or its sponsor, Laurel House, Inc. The author and www.rtor.org have no affiliations with any products or services mentioned in the article or linked to therein. Guest Authors may have affiliations to products mentioned or linked to in their author bios.
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