When A Loved One Struggles with Mental Health: First Steps for Concerned Family Members

When someone you care about begins to struggle with their mental health, it’s hard to know what to do. You might feel scared, unsure, or overwhelmed by the sudden weight of it. The signs can be subtle or alarming and may include withdrawal, irritability, mood swings, or a complete personality shift. And even if you’re certain something is wrong, figuring out the right next steps can feel like trying to find your way through a fog of possibilities.

If this is where you are right now, you’re not alone. Many families face the same questions: How do I talk to them about it? What if I say the wrong thing? Where can we go for help?

Start With a Conversation, not a Diagnosis

The first and most important step is connection, not correction. Your goal isn’t to fix or label your loved one — it’s to listen and offer support.

Choose a quiet time when you both have space to talk. Begin with your observations: “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately,” or “You’ve seemed really down, and I’m worried about you.” Maintain a calm tone and use words that are free from judgment. Avoid rushing to conclusions or offering immediate solutions.

If the person isn’t ready to talk, respect that — but let them know you’re here for them. Sometimes, just opening the door is enough for them to walk through it eventually.

Know the Signs, But Don’t Play Therapist

It helps to recognize some of the common symptoms of mental health conditions, especially depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. According to the Mayo Clinic, signs of depression can include persistent sadness, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, and changes in appetite or sleep.

But remember, you’re not there to diagnose. It’s enough to notice patterns and changes that concern you. Encourage your loved one to speak to a mental health professional who can offer a proper evaluation.

If you’re not sure where to turn, organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provide extensive resources and referrals for families just starting this journey. The Resource Specialists at rtor.org can also help.

Help Them Access Professional Support

Finding the right mental health provider can be a hurdle, especially when someone is already struggling. You can help by researching options in your area, calling providers to inquire about availability or insurance information, and offering to attend the first appointment if they would like you to be present.

If your loved one is resistant to seeking help, it may be due to fear, shame, or not feeling that it’s affecting them as much as it is. Reassure them that seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather an act of strength. Frame mental health care the same way you would any medical care. If someone had a broken arm, you’d want them to see a doctor. Seeking help for a mental health condition is no different.

Also consider accessibility. For older adults or individuals with mobility issues, mental health care at home can be a more comfortable and less intimidating way to receive care.

Create a Safe, Supportive Environment

Your presence matters more than you may realize. A stable and caring environment can play a crucial role in someone’s recovery. That doesn’t mean you have to walk on eggshells, but it does mean practicing patience, setting healthy boundaries, and staying consistent in your support.

Don’t try to force a “quick fix.” Mental health recovery is rarely linear. There may be ups and downs, days of progress and days of retreat. Celebrate small wins and continue to express your belief in their ability to feel better.

Don’t Forget to Care for Yourself

Supporting someone through a mental health crisis is emotionally draining. It can strain your patience, your relationships, and even your own mental health. It’s not selfish to protect your energy; it’s necessary.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make time for your own support network, whether that’s friends, a therapist, or a family support group. NAMI and other local mental health organizations often offer free support groups specifically for family members and caregivers.

Be honest with yourself about what you can and can’t handle. If your loved one’s behavior becomes aggressive, threatening, or puts themselves or others at risk, it’s time to seek immediate help. In an emergency, call 911 and clearly state that this is a mental health crisis, so emergency responders respond appropriately. For non-emergency mental health crises where there is no immediate danger, you can also call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, to reach trained crisis counselors who can provide support and de-escalation 24/7.

Empower Yourself with Education

Knowledge is power. The more you learn about mental health, the better equipped you’ll be to support your loved one. Read about mental health, consult with professionals, and lean on organizations that support families in this space.

It’s also OK to admit when you don’t know what to do. Asking for help, whether from a doctor, therapist, or support group, is a sign of strength and compassion, not weakness or failure.

You Are Not Alone

Watching someone you love struggle with their mental health can feel like standing outside in the rain, not knowing how to bring them inside. But even the act of noticing, of reaching out, of trying to help matters.

With patience, knowledge, and support, families can play a vital role in a loved one’s recovery. It won’t always be easy, and it won’t always go as planned. But it starts with one simple step: letting them know they don’t have to go through it alone.

If you or someone you know experiences mental health issues, it is important to seek help from a qualified professional. Our Mental Health Resource Specialists can assist you in finding expert help and support in your community. Contact us now for more information on this free service.

Contact a Resource Specialist

Author Bio: Dr. James C. “Jimmie” Williamson is Chief Behavioral Health Officer for Your Health, a physician group that delivers primary and specialty care to seniors in South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida. Dr. Williamson has an extensive career in higher education and economic development, including leadership roles as President of both the North Carolina Community College System and the South Carolina Technical College System. He played a key role in forging university transfer pathways and attracting major employers such as Volvo Cars and Mercedes to South Carolina. A published author and dedicated community leader, Dr. Williamson holds multiple advanced degrees, serves on numerous boards, and has been honored with several awards for professional achievement and civic contributions.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-and-woman-looking-at-each-other-8056989/

The opinions and views expressed in any guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of www.rtor.org or its sponsor, Laurel House, Inc. The author and www.rtor.org have no affiliations with any products or services mentioned in the article or linked to therein. Guest Authors may have affiliations to products mentioned or linked to in their author bios.