3 Tools to Use Anxiety for Growth

Anxiety isn’t the enemy you think it is. Of course, that’s hard to believe when your heart is racing and your thoughts are spinning out of control.

Anxiety can feel like a tornado. It tosses and swirls you into confusion, restlessness, terror, and helplessness. When you’re caught in that whirlwind, it doesn’t just hijack your mind—it takes over your body as well.

Your heart rate jumps. Your palms get sweaty. Your chest tightens with pain. Your whole system goes on alert.

Essentially, you go into panic mode.

And when panic takes over, how do you respond? Some people fight back, pushing against the discomfort. Others pull away, trying to avoid or ignore it.

But neither approach works in the long run. Pushing back only makes anxiety grow stronger. Pulling away only delays the problem.

So what can actually improve our relationship with anxiety?

What if, instead of fighting or escaping it, we reframed our relationship with anxiety through compassion and understanding? And what if we started to see anxiety not just as a threat—but as a tool for growth and transformation?

In this article, you’ll learn three tools that can change how you cope with anxiety, turning confusion and overwhelm into clarity and growth.

Tool #1: Use Anxiety as Your Teacher

Anxiety isn’t meant to hurt you; it’s meant to protect you

First, it comes down to understanding what anxiety is for. Anxiety may feel like an attack, but it is actually a protection mechanism.

Psychologists refer to anxiety as an inhibitory emotion. It acts like a filter, shielding you from more painful core emotions such as fear, loss, anger, or sadness. In essence, anxiety sounds the alarm to keep you safe—but it also hides the root emotion underneath.

When anxiety takes over, we often lose sight of the uncomfortable core feelings that may hold the answers we’re looking for.

To better understand your anxiety, ask yourself these three questions:

What is this anxiety protecting me from right now?

What core emotion is buried underneath it?

What feeling am I refusing to acknowledge or process?

These questions can help shift your mind from panic mode to clarity.

Example: You feel anxious about texting someone you like. The longer you wait, the more the anxiety grows. That anxiety may be pointing to something deeper—fear of rejection, feeling “not good enough,” or fear of abandonment.

Are you afraid the other person won’t respond? Does this trigger an old attachment or abandonment wound? Or maybe your anxiety shows up as waves of sadness. Could the core emotion be an unprocessed loss? Maybe what’s needed isn’t control—but grief, tears, and permission to feel.

These are only a few examples, but do you see how anxiety may actually be trying to help you?

Anxiety can act like a lighthouse, guiding you back to shore when you feel lost at sea. While these emotions are painful to acknowledge, they are also valuable signals. They point you toward healing, self-understanding, and emotional growth.

Reframing anxiety as a teacher—not an enemy—can help you grow and cope more effectively.

Tool #2: Change Your Language

Language is everything

The language you use reflects your relationship with anxiety. In many ways, anxiety mirrors the tone you use with yourself.

If you approach anxiety with fear, harsh judgment, resistance, or frustration, it often intensifies. One clear sign of this is “should” language. Anxiety thrives on statements like:

“I should be better.”

“I should be more successful.”

“I should make everyone happy.”

“Should” language is rooted in inadequacy and guilt. When you replace “should” with “could,” your inner dialogue becomes more flexible and supportive. You move from self-judgment to self-support.

Instead of: “I should be handling this better,” try: “I could try a different approach.”

When you speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend—with curiosity, patience, and care—you create a healthier relationship with anxiety and with yourself.

Tool #3: Listen to Your Body

Be a detective of your body

So, how do you begin building a healthier relationship with anxiety? It starts with the mind–body connection.

When you listen to your body’s signals and increase self-awareness, you build a bridge between your mind and body—allowing them to work together instead of against each other. You can start with a simple body scan exercise.

A Simple Body Scan Exercise

Take 5–10 minutes to quietly notice physical sensations without trying to change them. The goal is not to fix or eliminate sensations, but to deepen awareness. You are tapping into your state of being and accepting the emotion rather than fighting or denying it.

For example, when you feel anger building in your body, you sit with it and try to understand it. You may feel overwhelmed at first, but observing it without fueling it can offer clarity. Often, anger points to a boundary being crossed. From there, you can reflect: “I allowed this person to cross a boundary. What could I do to enforce better boundaries in the future?”

When you stay patient and curious—without suppressing or feeding the emotion—you begin to develop clarity. You cannot deny what your body feels. When you are in sync with your body and develop self-awareness alongside it, this becomes a powerful tool for growth.

This practice strengthens emotional regulation and supports relaxation. Over time, anxiety becomes easier to navigate. Instead of anxiety taking over the ship, you become the captain. This practice also strengthens the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation and conscious awareness.

Your Anxiety Is Your Guide

In the end, anxiety can be a tool that guides you toward a healthier relationship with yourself. Although it may seem like an attack or threat at first, it is actually a protective mechanism.

A racing heart, tight chest, and running thoughts can feel chaotic, but when you approach anxiety with curiosity—like a detective—you can begin to manage it more effectively. Using anxiety as information, becoming aware of your language, and listening to your body can help you grow and use anxiety as a force for healing and transformation.

Instead of treating anxiety as an enemy, consider seeing it as a guide—one that can lead you toward clarity, growth, and self-understanding.

Get our latest articles direct to your mailbox.

Join our mailing list for more articles written by experts, advocates, and people with lived experience of mental health conditions.

Get Tips to Your Inbox

About the Author: Eric Miller is a freelance mental health B2B copywriter based in Los Angeles, California. His work encompasses a holistic approach to mental health, facilitating and integrating a positive body-mind relationship. Outside of work, he enjoys reading, hiking, and volunteering in mental health community outreach. ericthementalhealthwriter.com

Bibliography / References

American Psychological Association. (2023). Anxiety disorders.
Damasio, A. (1999). The feeling of what happens: Body and emotion in the making of consciousness. Harcourt Brace.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living. Delacorte.
LeDoux, J. (1996). The emotional brain. Simon & Schuster.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory. W. W. Norton & Company.
Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2016). Acceptance and commitment therapy (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Photo by Artem Dulub: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-a-hoodie-standing-on-brown-sand-near-body-of-water-5176153/

The opinions and views expressed in any guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of www.rtor.org or its sponsor, Laurel House, Inc. The author and www.rtor.org have no affiliations with any products or services mentioned in the article or linked to therein. Guest Authors may have affiliations to products mentioned or linked to in their author bios.