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Loneliness as a Tool for Self-Knowledge

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All people experience loneliness in moments of their lives, but for some reason, the most common reaction to being lonely is to try to distract oneself from it. Many people these days are afraid of spending time on their own, which is the exact opposite of what you should feel when you have the chance to discover yourself.

What does ‘being lonely’ mean?

Loneliness represents an unpleasant state of emotions in which a person feels isolated from others. It can even be a type of pain for some. Being lonely is different from experiencing solitude in the sense that solitude comes by choice, while loneliness doesn’t.

A lonely person might be seen as sad or even depressed. Most of the time, this presumption is pretty accurate. However, it is not always the case.

Make the best out of your loneliness

Every person should experience being lonely, and not just once. There is no better way of getting to know yourself and what you value than getting to spend time by yourself.

Think of it this way: when you’re trying to make friends or build relationships, what do you do? You start talking to other people. You meet them and spend time together to get to know them as well as possible so that you can tell if you want to be around them or not.

The same goes for getting to know yourself. To get to know yourself, who you are, what you like and dislike, you will have to spend time on your own.

Doing this will enable you to analyze what you feel in different situations. Soon enough, you will also get to understand what you value the most, what you like about yourself, and what you want to work on.

Moreover, solitude is often the key to one’s creativity. Being alone unleashes your will to express yourself, which comes with plenty of creative ideas.

Find time to be alone

It is important to make time to be by yourself. Even if your lifestyle is a busy one and you barely have time for anything, this should be a priority. You do not have to take hours of your day to meditate and contemplate. It can only be a few minutes, but make the best out of them.

For example, if you’re at work, you might want to take 10 minutes out of your lunch break to sit by yourself, quietly, and recharge, preparing for when you have to go back and start working again. Or, as a student, you can take a break from your studies and busy social life to get off-campus for some peace and solitude.

Once you get to the point where you can use loneliness as a tool that will lead you to answers to your questions, you will stop fearing loneliness and even crave being by yourself.


These times are great when it comes to the amount of information from various sources we can access. If you want to start working on yourself and don’t know where to begin, you have plenty of ways to gather information, whether that’s the internet, self-help books, therapy, or education.

However, you will not be able to truly start working towards being a better, improved version of yourself until you have fully accepted who you are.  This comes with effort, but also with spending time by yourself. Facing the reality of who you are will come with an abundance of self-love and self-acceptance. Without these things, you can’t expect anyone else to accept you, and you will not feel like you’re living a fulfilled life.


Self-knowledge is hard to achieve, but once you do, nothing else will stand in between you and the world. Being lonely is the key to self-knowledge, and let me explain why.

When you’re spending time by yourself, you get to see who you really are. There are no barriers. You don’t need to put up any walls. You don’t need to try to look like something that you are not. If we spend time with other people, it is normal and natural that we sometimes try to act and look our best or make it seem we are a certain way when the reality is usually different.

When you’re alone, however, there is no reason to put on that mask. That is the time when you’ll know for sure exactly what you are, what are the features that best represent you, what you believe.

If you sit and contemplate this, analyze your emotions and feelings about yourself, and even write it down, you will soon come to terms with everything you represent. This way, you will notice that, in no time, you will get to know yourself better than anyone else ever will.

Self-discovery is a long journey, but when you start working towards it, you will feel like you’re invincible, like there is nothing you can’t do.



About the Author: David Norris has been working as a journalist at a publishing agency in London, UK, for five years. He is also a professional content writing expert on different topics. He also writes essays for an assignment help service. He loves to meet new people, traveling, and sports.

Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash

The opinions and views expressed in any guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of www.rtor.org or its sponsor, Laurel House, Inc. The author and www.rtor.org have no affiliations with any products or services mentioned in the article or linked to therein. Guest Authors may have affiliations to products mentioned or linked to in their author bios.

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