Anger is a normal, healthy emotion—when expressed constructively. It helps us recognize injustice, protect boundaries, and advocate for our needs. But when anger becomes intense, chronic, or hurtful, it can erode trust, damage relationships, and take a serious toll on mental and physical health.
Unmanaged anger isn’t just about outbursts—it’s often a sign of deeper emotional distress. Left unchecked, it can contribute to a cycle of conflict, isolation, and internal turmoil. Fortunately, anger is one of the most treatable emotional challenges with the right support and strategies.
What’s Happening in the Brain When You’re Angry?
Anger activates the amygdala—the brain’s threat-detection system—kicking off a fight-or-flight response. This leads to elevated heart rate, tense muscles, shallow breathing, and a surge of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline.
Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for logic and impulse control—may become temporarily overwhelmed. This is why people often say or do things in anger that they later regret.
A 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that individuals with high levels of anger had lower prefrontal cortex activation during emotional regulation tasks, which may explain why they struggle to manage emotional impulses in the moment.
How Chronic Anger Affects Relationships
According to the American Psychological Association, nearly 1 in 4 adults reported yelling at someone due to stress in the past month. This reflects how easily anger—especially when mixed with chronic stress—can damage our most important connections.
Here are some common ways unmanaged anger shows up in relationships:
- Emotional dysregulation: Becoming reactive or emotionally unavailable.
- Miscommunication: Anger can cloud our perceptions and distort our understanding of others’ intentions.
- Control dynamics: Anger may be used to dominate or silence others.
- Avoidance: Loved ones may walk on eggshells or shut down emotionally.
When anger leads to fear, silence, or repeated conflict, it’s no longer a protective emotion—it’s become harmful.
The Physical and Mental Health Risks of Anger
Anger doesn’t just affect our relationships—it has significant implications for physical and mental health as well.
- A study published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that episodes of intense anger double the risk of heart attack and quadruple the risk of stroke in the hours that follow.
- Chronic anger is linked to increased rates of anxiety, depression, and substance use.
- According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), chronic stress (often fueled by suppressed anger) contributes to headaches, digestive problems, sleep disturbances, and weakened immune responses.
Unchecked anger keeps the body in a prolonged state of stress—which is why managing it can also improve overall health.
Tools for Managing Anger in a Healthy Way
Anger doesn’t have to be destructive. With awareness and support, it can become a catalyst for growth and connection. Here are a few evidence-based tools that help:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the most effective interventions for chronic anger. It helps people recognize the thought patterns that fuel their emotional responses and replace them with more constructive perspectives.
2. Mindfulness and Stress Reduction
Practicing mindfulness builds emotional awareness and helps create a “pause” between trigger and reaction. Self-regulation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and grounding exercises reduce physiological arousal.
3. Assertive Communication
Learning to express anger in non-blaming language—using “I” statements—can lead to healthier communication. Saying “I feel hurt when…” rather than “You always…” helps reduce defensiveness and invites collaboration.
4. Exercise and Lifestyle Changes
Physical activity helps regulate mood and reduce stress hormones. Even 15–30 minutes of moderate movement daily can make a difference. Sleep, nutrition, and hydration also play a role in emotional regulation.
5. Seeking Professional Support
Sometimes, anger stems from unprocessed grief, trauma, or other deeper emotional pain. Working with a therapist can help uncover those roots and build new coping strategies.
When to Seek Help for Anger
It may be time to seek support if you notice:
- You feel out of control during arguments
- You frequently regret things said or done in anger
- Loved ones avoid conversations or tiptoe around your mood
- You experience physical symptoms like tightness in your chest, headaches, or insomnia
- You feel chronically irritable, resentful, or easily triggered
Therapy can help you understand where your anger is coming from—and how to move forward with greater self-compassion and connection.
Final Thoughts
Anger doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s a signal—an emotion with roots in pain, injustice, and unmet needs. Understanding and working with anger, rather than against it, can open the door to deeper emotional healing and stronger relationships.
About the Author: Whitney Houston is the founder of Phases Virginia, a mental health practice serving individuals, couples, and families across Virginia. She specializes in helping people navigate emotional regulation, relationship dynamics, and behavioral change using evidence-based approaches. Visit phasesvirginia.com to learn more.
May Is Mental Health Month 2025
Turn Awareness Into Action
May is Mental Health Month, a time to spread public awareness and education about mental health and reflect on the impact of behavioral health disorders on individuals and their families.
This month, we feature blog posts and information to help you or a loved one turn awareness of mental health issues into action.
You can take action for yourself by setting boundaries, reaching out for help, or practicing self-care. You can take action for someone else by asking if they’re okay, telling them you care, and encouraging them to seek support if they need it. You can take action for all by sharing your story and contacting policymakers and elected officials about the value of mental health resources and support.
Mental Health Month is also a time to recognize and commit to changing the racial and economic inequities in our healthcare system, especially in the treatment of mental health conditions.
www.rtor.org and its sponsor Laurel House, Inc., are committed to advancing social justice and racial equity and making mental health services accessible to all.
Photo by Timur Weber: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-couple-arguing-8560842/
The opinions and views expressed in any guest blog post do not necessarily reflect those of www.rtor.org or its sponsor, Laurel House, Inc. The author and www.rtor.org have no affiliations with any products or services mentioned in the article or linked to therein. Guest Authors may have affiliations to products mentioned or linked to in their author bios.
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